The Letters
Posted on Sun Mar 13th, 2022 @ 1:13am by Commander Ovrora Sh'rholok
Edited on on Sun Mar 13th, 2022 @ 1:47am
Mission:
Episode 2: 18th and Constitution
Location: Various
Timeline: Mission Day 28 at 0130
Following are the letters read by Sturnack and Jocelyn Blake in the post Letters in Tow These letters span nearly 70 years beginning shortly after Sturnack leaves Starfleet, not long after the USS Ulysses returns after being lost at space for several years. The text of all of Ovrora's letters with some annotations for context can be found below.
Sturny,
I have started this letter at least 5 times today and every time I end up tearing it up and throwing it away. You don’t want to hear from me. If you were here you’d tell me that writing you a letter is illogical.
I guess that’s why you’re getting this. If you were here… The world, the universe, everything is too quiet without your opinion in it. For years you’ve been there. To listen and to talk and to give input and I really don’t know what to do without you.
I hate this.
I don’t expect anything to change just because I sent a letter, but I can’t not send it Sturny. You’re my best friend.
I miss you.
-Ov
Sturnack,
I still can’t think of you as Sturnack. It’s weird to address you that way. But I’ll try it. Maybe that will help this feel less like someone has chopped off one of my antennae.
My father has decided it is his personal and only job in life to find me a husband. So today was introduction number 5, I think. Maybe 6? They’re all the same… You would hate them. They’re very very very Andorian. Not a single one has any interest in exploring the universe. They’re all looking for a wife to marry and have babies with who will never want to leave the cold expanses of Andoria again.
I can’t imagine what a single one of them will do when my leave of absence is up.
I’d give just about anything to be where you are. Do you remember that time you took me home with you between terms and your mother was convinced that I was going to utterly corrupt you? Did you know back then how you felt?
How did I miss it?
-Ov
Sturnack,
I know you’re getting these letters. The courier confirms them every time. I even asked him to make sure they were being put into your hands and your hands only. Your mother would probably just as likely burn them before you saw them.
Please say something. Anything.
I would rather bear the weight of your anger and hurt than this damned silence.
-Ovrora
Sturny,
If you were here we would make jokes about my dad’s suitors. There’ve been 12 of them now. They’re getting progressively more awful as they go. He means well, though. All he sees is that his daughter is heartbroken. (He’s right, but not in the way he thinks.)
If he only knew that it was my fault… that I’m the one who wrecked things and broke your heart so thoroughly you left. I want, so badly, to be what you need me to be. If I could be that, even for a moment, would you come back?
I miss us, friend.
-Ov
Sturny,
I met someone. Not one of my dad’s suitors, but… I know, by now, that you don’t really care what I’m doing. But it still feels wrong, somehow, not to tell you the important stuff.
His name is Kith. He’s a geologist. Not Starfleet, but his work could take him off world. I know. I know. I’m probably getting ahead of myself. My leave is up in two weeks and then I’ll be deployed to the Kepler. You know how these things go. Nothing new, even if it’s good, can last that distance.
Still.
I wish I knew what you thought of him.
-Ov
Sturny,
I’ve been putting this one off for a while. Honestly, I wish I knew if you read the other ones. If you haven’t this is probably not the time to start.
Sometimes, when it’s dark and I’m trying to fall asleep I imagine having a conversation with you. As far as anyone in my family knows my best friend Sturnack is just very busy. It helps me to remember what we had to pretend like that. So they ask about you and I make excuses. You’re busy. You’re doing something far away. I don’t know. They’re lame excuses.
I’m avoiding the point.
Kith asked me to marry him last month. I had a day of leave to kill and he met me at Starbase 5. Can you believe that he’s stuck with corresponding with me all this time? It’s been 6 months and we barely go three days without talking. Sometimes it makes me think of what it was like when we talked all the time.
Anyway, he asked me to marry him. I said yes. If you are reading these letters, even on a chance, I wish you’d come celebrate with us. It would mean the whole world to me to have my best friend there to celebrate. The wedding is in 6 months. On Andoria.
Think about it?
-Ov
A wedding photo
Written on the back:
Wish you could have been here. -Ov
There’s a several year gap at this point.
Sturnack,
I like to imagine if we were still friends, that you’d be married by now too. Maybe you are? And whomever your wife is would actually like me and not think I’m ridiculous. It’s a fantasy, but one I like. In that fake universe, I could tell you (and your imaginary wife) that I’m pregnant. And you'd be excited.
And then I’d tell you that being pregnant is terrifying. But you and your imaginary wife would be so encouraging. Then maybe in some fake world you’d also be having a baby with your wife and we’d do this together. ‘Cause it’s scary and feels like a really big deal. And it would be less scary if you were around to talk to.
Kith is thrilled. Beness and Tivi too. I haven’t told you about them. They're the other half of our bondgroup. Tivi will carry the baby to term, but we’re not there yet.
Beness and Tivi are lovely. Really. Kith is the one I love, though. Maybe it’s not supposed to work that way. I don’t know.
Kith is hoping for a girl. Says that our first should be a miniature Ovrora. I don’t know if I agree.
If you had any desire to be a part of my life anymore I know you’d have said something by now. I should probably stop writing, but… it just doesn’t feel right. Even if you never read this, at least I know I’ve said what I wanted to say to you.
I miss you. I’m scared.
-Ovrora
A photo of Ovrora and a small bundle of blankets from which you can see a tiny azure colored face and two tiny antennae.
Written on the back:
Sorih Sh’rholok - 1 month old.
Another photo. This one is Ovrora and Kith together along with a 4 year old Sorih. Held on Sorih’s lap is another wrapped bundle. She is beaming with pride. Ovrora looks happy, but tired.
Written on the back:
Ovrora, Kith, Sorih, and Abyn
Abyn Th’ovatren - 1 week
Sorih Sh’rholok - 4 years
This letter is tear stained.
Sturny,
Did we ever talk about Andorian children? About how difficult conception is? Today was the 5th pregnancy I’ve lost.
The 5th.
I don’t have words. I can’t even look Kith in the eyes. I’ve considered things that I know aren’t right… but sometimes I can’t shake the thought.
Maybe they’d all be happier with a different shen in my bond group. Maybe just like I couldn’t be what you needed… maybe I can’t be what they need.
I would give anything to know how to control my emotions the way you do. I wish you were here.
I need you, my friend.
-Ov
This is the last letter.
Sturnack,
I doubt this letter will be read. By now we have lived much more of our lives apart than the years we knew each other. Still, I keep those years close to my heart.
I am dying Sturny. I’ve known for a while now.
I have very few regrets in my life. I have a beautiful family. Grandchildren, children, a husband who loves me and a bond group who is dear to me.
I held a full career in Starfleet--one that has allowed me to see more beauty and learn more things in my life than I have ever imagined.
There is only one thing that, when I consider the end of my life, I want. Sturny, I can never undo the harm I did you. But you still have time. When you walked away from me you walked away from a whole life of things that you loved--many that had nothing to do with me. Please don’t live the rest of your life without at least considering if those things still hold value for you.
At this point I know it is too much to ask to see you. But, since I will not be here much longer anyway, I have little pride left to lose. I would love to see your face, Sturny, one last time.
I do not ask you to forgive me. But, perhaps, for a moment we can pretend that we are dearest friends again?
-Ovrora
